Leadership Development Camp.

Went for leaders' camp which lasted since friday till today.

Day 1, Friday. So, we reported at 6 after that. First activity was mass dance on the PD Block rooftop. hahha, first time that we danced outdoors till the sky eventually turned dark. Spotlights on the rooftop were used so that we could see our partners. Anyway, we learn how to slow dance to those type of romantic songs. Pretty refreshing. After that we went into our groups, called tribes. I was in Tribe 4. Tied up hands to hands when we ate our dinner. Quite stupid and we dirtied the whole rooftop. LOL. After that we went to LT3? or LT4? to watch 4bia. Shutter was not played although me and Ke Ming went to rent it. Watched the first part, not scary de. So we went on our nightwalk after that. Hahha, it was like visiting all the haunted places in school. But it wasn't scary enough and Pei Ting (I think that was her name? Sorry eh, no icebreakers.) kept grabbing me so tightly on the shoulder cos our tribe was walking in one line with hands on the shoulders of the front person. Pei Ting kept screaming so loudly, OMG. lol. After our nightwalk, went to grandstand to sleep. Chu Harn saw shooting star and i missed it cos i was preparing my sleeping bag! OMG, shooting star in Singapore. How rare ): Jue Han said it looked like fireworks. Only few of us near the stairs spotted it.

Day 2, Saturday, were totally wet games all the way.4 am, someone woke us up to tell us that the girls are coming to attack us with water bombs and we had to prepare and ambush them. We all went OMG, we wanna sleep leh! But it was really fun lah, hahha. The girls were so bullied by us. Damn evil. Breakfast after PT and then had something like Kinetic Warfare and many others. During lunch, we used the points we earned to bid for food items in the auction. My group had the highest amount of points of 3400. Woohoo. And we successfully bade the chicken drumlets bidding at 2801 points. lol. We formed alliance with tribe 6 and shared food after that. Anyway, we had wet games after lunch again. Towards the end, i got tau-poked by my Nan Hua NCC-cum-JJC senior, Chian Lim, together with several others. Wah, it was super torturing, given his size yeah. Hahah. And Wan Ting kept wanting to pour soap onto me! LOL! oops. We went for mass dance at netball court where we had our intensive water bombs throwing. I had a real bad and BIG BIG bruise on my feet. Gosh, super duper painful man ): At night, we had our foam party. Most of us went insane, including me. And Nan Hua gang united and we were all in high spirits. Mass danced together with Nan Hua people. Me and Chu Harn kept disturbing and irritating Mildred and Joey. Damn fun. hahha.

Day 3, Sunday, slept all the way till 7am. It's my first time waking so late for a camp. LOL. had breakfast and area cleaning. Then E-Web and a little song singing. Then camp ended and went to JE to have lunch with Anli and Chu Harn.

Anyway, I did alot alot of thinking during the camp although it was fun and all. Especially when I was alone yesterday night after all the activities. Was sitting with my tribe but no one was talking. lol. To say the truth, I did not interact much with the people in my tribe. Sadly. I remained quiet almost throughout. Maybe, it was because I do not have anyone who can integrate me with the tribe. I don't know why. Most of them knew each other already. Hmm, I sat outside PE porch during supper staring into blank space, isolating myself and thought about so many things. Well, for some reason, pessimistic thoughts kept on streaming into my mind. Maybe, it was cos' I was feeling down and I was alone. Keep thinking I'm quite a failure in many of apects of life. Failure in academics, family relationship, friendship at times and many many other things of the past which I truely regret. I wonder why all these happen. I wonder why I can't have full control and grip of things in my life. Maybe, you can say I'm thinking too much but those thoughts seemed so complex to me and it was hard for me to decipher what I was even thinking. I felt that I needed to address those thoughts. I thought real deeply but no blatant answers came, expectedly. Sometimes, I just hope I can turn into someone more optimistic. It's not that I don't want to, it's not that I lack self confidence. It's not. It's just that I can't believe all these problems can happen to me. Life is so full of challenges and maybe all these are to test my endurance. However, unfortunately, I am starting to feel the fatigue that is building in me. Life can be so intricate as to be hard to understand. I thought the camp was a getaway for me. No. It was not. It was a camp which also let me see how people work, I mean not working together. I meant how people functioned as themselves. It was a camp which made me think hard, not because of the activities but because of the "exile" that happened. It's only when I'm alone that I think so so much. So much that I never knew I can. My mood was pretty dampened after that but I did not wanna show it, I did want to spoil the atmosphere. But sorry I could not take it during E-Web today.

I hope to be more sensible, more matured, and all. But, it's all hard to achieve.

OMG, can't believe I just typed so much on this issue. Am I turning mad? Please don't take me as those "emo kids" or what. Cos' I am not one.

Ahh bye.